“Things rarely get stuck because of lack of time. They get stuck because the doing of them has not been defined.” Now, take a moment to read that again.

This quote is from process expert David Allen, the author of Getting Things Done. It alludes to a problem most of us face on a regular basis — “getting stuck.” Also known as hitting the wall, stalling out, or bogging down.

Fortunately, I have friends with brilliant ideas on how to get unstuck.

I live in Grand Rapids, a thriving city in western Michigan. It’s where President Gerald Ford grew up, and where Steelcase was founded in 1912. Knowing that I live here, my friend Paul Akers (FastCap founder and author of 2 Second Lean) asked if I knew Steelcase executive Bob Hendriksen. Fair question. Same town, etc. Actually, I didn’t know Bob yet, but making a connection seemed like a good idea.

Turns out that meeting Bob was life changing; he is both a fantastic leader and a good friend. Like me, he’s committed to lifetime growth. I especially admire Bob’s belief in the power of process. His mastery of process allows him to manage 4,000 employees in three different plants across the USA … and still have time to respond to emails … and enjoy a healthy and rejuvenating life outside of work! Besides being a busy exec, Bob is also an internal coach and teaches various aspects of continuous improvement, including Lean manufacturing, strategy deployment, and David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” (GTD) methodology.

Whenever we get together and share ideas, I learn something valuable. Recently, Bob introduced a “cultural change model” that really resonated with me. His concept gives employees a greater sense of belonging and reinforces their purpose in the organization. He explained that when a team feels like they’re making a difference, retention rates go up and the workplace is positively impacted.

Another very wise friend and process whiz is Ari Weinzweig (founding partner of Zingerman’s Community of Businesses in Ann Arbor). His books are amazing; I highly recommend them. Every morning, I read handpicked books for inspiration and insight. Ari’s books are frequently part of my ritual.

Recently, I was impressed by a book Bob recommended called Change the Culture, Change the Game by Roger Connors. Blending ideas from Connors with insights from Ari’s book (plus my own acumen) led me to a startling epiphany:

80 percent of my current beliefs are not my own and come from my childhood and upbringing. Furthermore, these beliefs no longer serve who I am today and perhaps need to be discarded.

In other words, the old beliefs I “inherited” (primarily from my parents) may not be best for the present situation. Realizing these leftovers are no longer reliable or helpful requires a mindful pause to evaluate what new step of action will serve me better. This is where it gets tricky — and where my friend Bob’s belief in process is so powerful. Consider this next part carefully because as you read it you might experience the same circular thinking I frequently get trapped in:    

When I hit a stumbling block or ceiling of complexity, my first impulse is to think about how to get unstuck. However, my thinking is weighed down with old beliefs from the past. Because those OLD beliefs are deeply ingrained into my identity, it’s incredibly hard to think of a NEW way out of my stalled position.

Make sense? OLD beliefs cannot create a NEW attitude or approach. In fact, I often find myself in a “mental loop” of coming back again and again to the same type of stumbling block or ceiling of complexity. This déjà vu is frustrating. 

Fortunately, I now have a new tool to get unstuck — it’s called process. 

My new, mindful approach is to seek out a process that others have used successfully to get unstuck — then use that process on myself to break through to the next level of understanding and performance. Furthermore, after years of experimentation, I understand it will take a commitment of 90 days of continued daily use to thoroughly vet out a new process. Don’t be discouraged!

In the initial stage, it can feel uncomfortable and awkward because it’s often in conflict with my old, well-worn (and previously reliable) belief. However, with a consistent daily process to ingrain my new habit over 90 days, I usually find my new experience is working … and I am gaining energy from the new approach.

Process guru David Allen reminds us, “You are the captain of your own ship; the more you act from that perspective, the better things will go for you.”

To be the successful captain of your own ship, you’ll need a good map!

The Legacy Map introduced in my book, Replace Retirement: Living Your Legacy in the Exponential Age, is a powerful process designed to get you unstuck and change your beliefs about aging and the second half of life. Find out more at replaceretirement.com. Remember, process is the key.