He had a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

He had dozens of awards, from Emmys to Golden Globes.

Then, in the middle of filming a major movie, he started displaying the symptoms of Parkinson’s disease. In 1998, he went public about his debilitating illness.

That actor was Michael J. Fox, and he knows a lot about disappointment.

Fox sums up how he beat discouragement and depression, “There is always failure and disappointment and loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums.”

That’s good advice, whether you’re a movie star or an average guy like me. I recently experienced two disappointing events in a single weekend. The first was from a client who informed me via email he did not want to move forward. Then, just 24 hours later, I learned that our beloved dog, Benji, had passed away. 

Both events were learning opportunities, each in their own unique way. 

My frustration with losing a client taught me two valuable lessons, both involving communication. Or lack thereof. We had been exchanging emails since our last meeting to align calendars. My first impression (in hindsight) was that he wanted to skip our next session, but was feeling angst about cancelling it. My second impression was that I had failed to clearly lay out expectations in writing following our initial informal conversations. 

This executive was referred to me by one of my best clients, so there was ample synergy in our initial meetings. He was enthusiastic and wanted to jump right in with a monthly engagement, which is the ideal rhythm with clients. 

Key learnings? Lesson One: Remember to slow down and take the time either by phone or in writing to clearly lay out the meeting cadence and expectations, so we are both aligned. It was clear from this client’s “Dear John” email we were misaligned regarding our expectations of each other. Lesson Two: Communicate any important issue by phone if face-to-face is not feasible. 

Because I have long-term and high-trust relationships with customers, I do frequently communicate via email. However, that doesn’t mean it’s the best way to go. Quite the contrary. Face-to-face is the primary vehicle to address anything meaningful; the next best is by phone. Email is reserved for scheduling appointments and mundane issues that do not involve decision making, emotions, or potential misunderstandings.

The surprise email ending our relationship came on a Monday. It was apparently triggered by an invoicing detail I had mentioned in a previous email. In his mind, my email underscored his impression that I was focused only on money.

Ouch! Anyone who knows me understands how misplaced this is. I responded immediately with an email, followed by a phone call (that went to voice mail) asking if we could speak before finalizing his decision to part ways.

To date, I’ve heard nothing back. It’s disappointing to lose this new relationship. I respect the leader, admire his company, and am confident I can provide tangible value.  However, I have a “growth mindset” and try to accept everything as a learning opportunity. To quote Ryan Holiday, “The Obstacle is the Opportunity.” Going forward, I’ll be sure to set clear expectations for my services and guidelines for my communication process up front, using this disappointment as an incentive. 

My other misfortune that weekend was losing our 14-year-old black Cocker Spaniel. Benji had become a treasured friend and source of continuous joy. He always made me feel good, regardless of my mood. As he grew older, I’m glad to say I learned to slow down and make extra time to pet and appreciate him. Benji was always glad to see me when I came home and could sense when a little love-time was required. He had a habit of lying at the foot of our bed or up near the pillows, warming my spot before I jumped under the cold sheets. Good boy!

Benji taught me valuable lessons. Like to never complain, even if I wasn’t feeling well or had joint pain (I’m still learning that one). Like always greeting your family members enthusiastically, no matter how tired you are. Like always giving 100% to my wife, whom he adored with all his being. I was sad to see Benji pass, but deeply grateful for the years and love he shared with Molly and me.

Those of us in our second half of life need to realize that aging can be a period of frustration and limitation — or it can be a journey of temporary disappointment followed by growth, wisdom, and greater clarity on what matters most.

Michael J. Fox turned his negative prognosis into positive energy by becoming the most visible advocate for Parkinson’s research, funding, and awareness. Plus, he’s had a “second season” career that’s netted him more awards and accolades.

When disappointment strikes, let’s remember this advice from Fox, “You suffer the blow, but you capitalize on the opportunity left in its wake.”