Man in the Mirror
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?"
In Snow White, the Evil Queen feeds her ego with a daily update from the brown-nosing mirror. Until one day, the mirror reports that the young Snow White has edged out the aging Queen in the looks department.
As you recall, hearing (or seeing) the unvarnished truth triggered a very negative response! Guess what? It still does.
The Brutal Honesty of a Mirror
Magic or not, a mirror is an interesting device. It shows us what we look like — not what we imagine we look like, or hope we look like, but how we actually appear. The mirror’s brutal honesty can be unsettling. Especially when we catch an unexpected reflection. Like the Queen, we’re sometimes tempted to smash it.
When I look in the mirror, there are two parts of my body that frustrate me.
The first is the bags under my eyes. Years ago, when I was a functional alcoholic, I’d look in the mirror after a late-night drinking episode or a long weekend of partying and see dark circles and puffiness under my eyes. I believed that others could quickly gauge my sobriety (or lack thereof) by how pronounced those telltale bags were. When I finally achieved a full year of sobriety, I was certain the bags would go away. After all, many sober friends my age had a less worn, more youthful look to their face. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen. Maybe my face did improve a little, but when I look in the mirror today, I still see the bags.
The second frustrating area my gaze fixates on is my gut. Throughout my life, people described me as skinny. In fact, I enjoyed a 28-inch waist well into my 30s. But then it started to grow. I am not obese, and most folks (including myself) would describe me as healthy. But since my teenage years, I’ve always had a bit too much belly in proportion to my age and waist size. Today it’s larger, and it bothers me. I exercise five days a week, drink water 98% of the time, minimize bread and sweets, and generally remain conscious of what I put in my mouth.
I still grab a bag of chips (I love crunchy stuff) maybe once a month, and eat like a horse until the bag is finished. But for the most part I watch what I eat. My gut continues to expand and contract, but like the bags under my eyes it’s always there, reflecting back a lousy version of me in the mirror.
External Image vs. Internal Image
That reflection (and more importantly, my warped concept of it) has created a poor self-image which I’ve reinforced for decades. Regardless of how you see me, the reflection I see in the mirror is bags under my eyes and a gut that’s too large.
But what about my invisible, internal image? What about the reflection of who I really am, the reflection of my character and contribution? Truth is, I’m even more critical of my internal image, the one you can’t see but that I hear in my thoughts.
Daily Alignment
If you read my blogs, you’ll recall that I practice Daily Alignment, a ritual of physical, mental, and spiritual exercise 5 days a week. My Daily Alignment practice is designed to reinforce positive thoughts and beliefs resulting from the actions I take each morning — all designed to reprogram my internal image. On top of that, the Legacy Map is designed to create clarity and a process to reimagine and live an intentional life, walking away from parts of the past that no longer serve us and creating a roadmap to our greatest personal potential.
Whether I like it or not, my life and the things surrounding me are a mirror reflection of my beliefs, behaviors, attitudes, and most importantly, my actions.
Can I change it?
Yes, by all means!
Change Comes Through Commitment to Consistent Action
I may not like the circumstances I grew up in. I may regret some of the decisions I’ve made. But I am capable and willing to change the internal image in the mirror — one day at a time. However, it won’t just happen through good intentions or wishful thinking. Nor will it happen because of anger or self-loathing.
Nothing will change by simply looking in the mirror with frustration; I must commit to consistent action that moves me closer to my desired outcome. The Legacy Map provides the necessary clarity about where I intend to go and how I will look when I arrive. And the Daily Alignment of intentional action steps applied repeatedly over time will insure I arrive at my destination.
Then, and only then, will the man in the mirror change.