Learning From Failure

“We learn from our failures.”

I’ve heard that phrase countless times. Probably some well-intentioned pundit coined this euphemism to make the pain of failing sting a little less.  

But is it true? 

Is failure really a chance to improve and grow? That was the subject of a recent conversation with my daughter Katie. She was once again applying her zest for life into a bold new pursuit. But after a year of nonstop effort pursuing this latest dream, the initial excitement had evolved into more of a daily grind.  

I could relate.

In some ways, I’ve had a similar struggle and felt the same letdown. It’s been approximately 3 months since the publication of my first book, and although there is positive energy, I’m not experiencing the momentum I was hoping for.  

Opportunities Can Look Like Obstacles

As I listened to my daughter’s frustration, I could relate to almost every point. All I could offer was the tried and true advice about pressing into the challenge and looking for the opportunity cloaked somewhere within the obstacle.  

Believe me, it’s much easier offering this advice than taking it. Looking back on the last couple of Blogs I’ve posted, I noticed that they each reflected a challenge or setback I was processing through at the time. Recently, during the reading and journaling portion of my Daily Alignment, I came across a helpful insight: Life’s success is in the pursuit of a worthy goal, not in the attainment.  

Life is About the Pursuit, Not the Attainment

My most cherished mentor, Earl Nightingale, said essentially the same thing. He reminded us that true fulfillment is not in the acquisition of things (which provides a momentary reward) but in the hard-fought pursuit of a worthy goal (like my MTP of changing America’s wasteful and outdated retirement paradigm). 

That’s a message I needed to hear all over again!

Like everyone who’s ever lived, my life journey has been a series of twists and turns. Along the way, there have been plenty of successes — and a few failures, too. In order to learn from those failures, I’ve taught myself to intentionally persevere past the temporary setback, to push past the perceived lack of progress.  

Seeing the Big Picture

The ability to be content and confident regardless of circumstances depends on having the right perspective. If we could view our life journey from above (from a 10,000-foot level), the inscrutable twists and turns we face might have a completely different meaning and make perfect sense. Seeing the “big picture” with an enhanced perspective can literally change everything. Someone has wisely said your perspective on things is either a prison or a passport. A shift in perspective can transform what looks like a roadblock into a pathway to success. 

Applying my enhanced “big picture” perspective (acquired over six decades of life) to the challenge Katie was navigating (as a 30-year-old) made the journey ahead seem far less daunting and complex than it appeared to her.

Don’t Try to Avoid Life’s Challenges

I shared with her a key truth I’ve learned through decades of reading and study: Life is a series of challenges with moments of joy and relaxation. If we try to flip this to only embrace the enjoyment and avoid the challenges, then life loses the excitement and satisfaction that come from overcoming the unknown. Not to mention, it’s impossible to live without bumping into trials, problems, setbacks, and disappointments. Obstacles just come with the territory.

My daughter is wired up like me. She seeks out new challenges to overcome, new skills to learn, and new adventures to jump into. I admire that! But her road is not like my road. Or your road. Or anyone else’s. Everyone’s path is unique. But we will all experience ups and downs, hills and valleys. Easy cruising and traffic jams. Great scenery and nasty potholes. We are all on this great lifelong journey, masterfully designed to provide unexpected twists and turns in the road.  

In my experience, if the road gets too smooth or too easy, I get bored. Complacent. Sleepy. So I throw in a couple of twists just to keep it interesting — and more importantly, to keep me focused and wide awake at the wheel. 

The good news is we can learn from failure. In fact, if we don’t see it that way, we’ll find ourselves repeating the same mistakes. But if we do, nothing can stop us. Because with the right perspective, failures are the best teachers. 

That’s how this amazing journey called life works.